You're telling me you've been patient with me?

Is that just a sentence?
For how long?
That whole time I was attached to someone?

Did you call me in the duration I was attached?
Did I answer your calls?
Did I asked you whether you were alright when you called?
Did you ask: "Dane, are you with d****** now..?
Did you answer: "No nothing, its alrite" when I asked "Why, is there anything wrong?"
Did I ask WHY..?
Now,
How many times did that happened?
I can remember clearly the number of times.
bottom-line,
I answered your calls with/without her around.

If this is not the case,
then what made you so freaking angry with me for?
What made you say you don't want me to be your friend anymore?
What made you say you want nothing to do with me anymore?

You wanna do calculations on the past events, which you tested my patience?

How many times have you went missing?
How many times have you ever walk in and walk out of my life?
How many times you talked to me as if nothing wrong happen?
How times did I accepted you back as my friend?
How many times I forgave you for your mistakes?
How many times have you cried over the phone telling me your problems?
How many times when your problems were gone and you went missing?
How many times have I been there for you and - you went missing again?
How many times when theres someone that you like, is friends with you, and you pushed me aside?
How many times have you made me look like a fool?

Yeah whatever,
call me as someone who digs the past.
(cos if not you won't fuckin realise)
And??
I accepted you back without any grudges,
without any hate, and you're calling me a loser?
For a mere 5 minutes chatting with you,
I said something,
I blew you off,
you're angry
AND
you're telling me f*ck off?!

So you've been very patient?

How many times have you been an hour late to the time you set to meet?
F*ck! Did I keep the grudges?

How many times have you called me at pass midnight to talk to me?
How many times have I accompanied you to have supper even though I was supposed to sleep?

And f*ck! Theres alot more moments that I've been there for you,
I can bravely say that I was doing all that - sincerely for a friend, and thats you!

What the heck is that all about?

Yeah I made my mistake of sacrificing my friends just to take care of someone's heart.
Deeply am I sorry to my friends for my mistakes.
I'm tearing up as I'm typing this.
Only God nows how sorry I am.
Thats me, I'm careful with people's heart, especially my friends.
I don't go around generating hate.

Now I realised that no matter how I take care of anyone's heart,
no matter how i forgive and try to forget,
I still end up having to shed tears.

My heart, I guess is the only thing to be battered.

It's already hard for me to lose someone I use to love so dearly.
Its already hard that back then, I have to lose a friend for the one that I love.
Its already hard to know that the very heart I work tirelessly to please is gone.
Its already hard for me to look at you, returning to you, as my friend.
Its already hard for me to have all the guilt but still wanted to be your friend.
Its already hard for me to put a brave face, knowing in my conscience,
I've not been truly there for you when I was with her.

Now,
It is hard for me that I have to lose a friend..


If I had a choice I would f*cking hell want to turn back time.
How sorry can I be?
Sorry ain't enough?

you want me to deserve all this?
Is this a revenge for my actions?
I don't deserve all this now, not even before I was attached.

8 freaking years.

Chances,
The only thing I gave, and will never f*cking get.

Couldn't be bothered about me anymore you say?
I could have done the same thing to you long time ago.
But did I?

Pfft.